You couldn’t even imagine that a dating need a good balance, but it is really important. How do you show your interest without creating a side thought of need and desperation? How do you create an impression of friendly and open-minded person without being noisy and loud? And how can you find out what a person feels about you or let them know your feeling for them without awkward moments? Dating requires skill and proficiency, but our guides will help you to become an advanced and successful dater!
Setting Yourself up for Success
Be sure about your expectations. Why are you dating? What kind of person are you looking for? Do you want a lifetime adventure, or just to live the moment being with another person? Your attitude and reason can define your approach in dating.
- If you need person for a companioning, so the better option is get along as soon as possible.
- If you expect to find a future partner, you should work on yourself better – wipe away any shyness and awkwardness so that you can be genuine you. Show that you are reliable person as an emotional exchange is important in this kind of communicating.
- In general, most of us are looking for a mixture of some fun and continuation of those dating, but it’s important to know you real desires, so that you can understand whether your date expects the same.
Make a decision in what way you want to date. Look, the nowadays show us that a simple wish to date is not enough. There is a way – decide how you want to date. Wide known several different ways of going about it, each with their pluses and minuses. Good news is that you don’t have to be keeping on with just one style. In fact, trying more than one probably increases your possibility of success:
- Welcome to Internet dating. Ride a wave of online dating, as it is future. You create a profile, go through other profiles at your own convenience, and then you can meet this person if you’re both willing. Online dating is genius creating for those who are shy about getting acquaintance offline (in other words – on the street). On the other side, you’ll see a great majority of misrepresented people, as people can put not a real photo or just ornament their profile with some false information.
- Find a date at a bar or any public place. Going to someone, when they are distracted and having some fun can be challenging thing for your confidence. But it is a perfect chance to make things work. This method of “dating” is more informal and usually fling-focused, but it doesn’t have to be.
- Ask your friend for some help. It can work out as your friends know you well. At least, that’s the idea, you’re welcome. What about them to play setup artist? Asking your friends to set you up with someone is usually either a complete disaster or a total success. Why not to challenge it?
Get yourself looking your best. Persuading yourself that looks don’t matter can’t add you points, even when we are speaking about love. But you are not that professional to realize from the very first sight that this is love. The same with your date (or maybe potential partner). First impression really matters, therefore looks and grooming can help you to create first sprouts of lasting affection and emotional exchange. Whatever you looks though, stay true, as people don’t like overwhelming dressing and actions. Eventually, you want person to like you if they appreciate your true personality. Not because of charming outfit or sexual makeup. Remember about taking care of you looks, as it says a lot about you.
- Guys, the Internet comes in handy. Find some picture of stylish hairdressing, advice about keeping your skin clearer or even how to keep your breath with no smell. All these steps create a whole picture of you.
- Ladies, the Internet is full of different articles on women secrets that can make you even more attractive. Find out how to look perfect with your hair, skin, makeup, accessories, and clothing.
Be outcome-independent. When a dating finally comes, be still about it outcomes. Whether it is approving or rejection be outcome-independent in your reaction. That means you shouldn’t care about the outcome, don’t let it to sting you as it influences nothing. In this way you will be open-minded to new meeting with another interesting people, that increases your chances on success.
- Sure, we understand: speaking is easier than acting. Although, only practice can help you to develop this resistance from anyone’s opinion.
Putting Yourself out There
Put yourself out there. There is no unavoidable necessity to come across bars and clubs for meeting people. Just find a person, who is the same interested in kinds of activity you prefer most. That’s good way to set the connection between you two.
- The internet again goes in rush to help you. Find some events or local meetings, that for sure will visit people with common interests, as yours.
- Let’s imagine, that you’re there. It is a high time to be bold. If you don’t like approach anyone, attract surrounding people with your looks. And yes, mind your eye contact, it’s a powerful weapon.
Learn the art of small talk. Somehow our ancestors created this amazing way of beginning any conversation – a small talk. What is it about? As you don’t know a person you should get closer with asking them about weather and how was their day. Agan, it is all about asking questions, which leads us to finding out more and more information about your date. Express your true thought, don’t try to pretend about some likeliness if you don’t have them. Below you can find more detailed tips to follow:
- Ask questions. Asking questions, that need open answer is the best option to lead a dialogue. “So why did you go to Morocco?” it is better than “Have you been to Morocco?”.
- Talk about your continuing happening. This means what you both happen to be doing. If you happen to walk and see someone is playing violin on the street, you may say something like: “Wow, I really like her music. Would you like to go for a concert someday?”
- Listen to what the other person said. If the person mentioned that she caught a cold several days ago, don’t be afraid to ask: “Are you okay now? You know, you should care about yourself more in such a weather”.
Don’t be afraid to poke fun of yourself. It is okay not to be okay. Especially when you like a person and this cause some nervousness.
If you said something you think is utterly stupid, just smile and make a joke at your own expense. There’s no harm! No doubt, that your date will perceive it as cute behavior.
They’ll laugh with you and this will break the wall between both of you. The result cannot be predictable, but one of the possibility it is you to relax and stop being nervous.
- Make a joke at your own expense! “Wow, I guess I was so nervous that something foolish. Begging your pardon, beauty!” This puts both of you at easy shoes and tells the other person that you don’t take yourself as picky-tricky person.
Be selective. Date those who you really like. It is not very smart to date anyone who crosses your life path. Value your time and spend time with those who worth it.
- At the same time, don’t overdose with this selectiveness, as there is no perfect person. If you meet 10 person with similar interests, two of them you should like. It can be thrown challenge for yourself – don’t leave an event without a new acquaintance.
- If happens, that someone asks you on a date and you’re not really interested, avoid making excuses like “I’m busy” or “I’m not ready to date right now.” The time passes and the will see that your business radiates just on them, which is even more hurtful then usual “Thanks, no”. Then just try to change a topic with a nice smile, to show the person, that you are still interested in usual communication.
Ask for a date. If you realize that a person likes you, be bold and say it. It can be hard, but put some efforts and do it. Honesty is very attractive trait of character.
- Sincere: “Listen, I believe you are really interesting person. Would you like maybe to meet for some coffee this week?”
- Romantic: “I should admit, I notice you among all these people and you just caught my attention. And when we started talking, I understood why you attracted me. Would you want to meet up later for a drink?”
Having a Successful First Date
Make a good first impression. Mixture of enjoying the date and enjoying your company – that is your aim. Be nice and charming with no pretending. Let them see you as you are, but remember about maintaining some mystery, for arousing a bigger interest.
- Have good manners. Put away your phone. In magical way you become free person, with no business to your routine deals. Also table ethics always matter.
- Concentrate on your date; show good emotions and don’t stare at anyone else. Make eye contact, as it works better than gazing off into space.
- Don’t talk about past relationships. It crates an impression that you are still stick to you ex-partner. Hence if your date wonders about you previous relationships, let them know that you weren’t comfortable feeling together, that is why you were forced to give up trying to continue. Keep it brief and don’t ask about their ex.
Choose a date with some entertainment in it. Whether it is a ski rollers or a park of entertainment, good emotions that you experience together can bow you more than you can expect. Action is always better than talking, you know. So embody some child memories in your date. When you engage in an exciting activity with a date, your brain releases dopamine and norepinephrine, which are hormones associated with pleasure, trust, and affection. If you can induce a little bit of dopamine and norepinephrine in your date, your chances at success become better.
Be interested and interesting. Don’t boast about your achievements, successes, etc. Share a thought that you love the life and always catch an opportunity to participate in exciting activities. Your next step is to ask what they do really love in this life, and great topic for discussion straight in your hand. Feel the change in energy during this conversation and revel in it.
- It is never bad idea to have some fun and spice your conversation with some jokes. Humor can create a stronger bond of friendship between you two. Use some romantic jokes, as it brings up the possibility of what might happen between the two of you.
- Be positive. Despite on successful or not really good day, be pleasant to talk to you. Greet them with smile and show up good behavior to them. It is better avoid complaining about the traffic, your boss, or your job. If you must whine, well, do it in a small amount during dinner and end this with a “glad I’m here with you now!” remark.
Don’t make the first date too long. Something to be careful about. Even if the date goes in incredibly interesting way and you just can’t take your eyes off this person, make yourself to end the first date in one or two hours. There are some reasons for this:
- End on a good emotion. Whatever how coll and energizing was it, after 6 hours of talking and communicating both of you will be exhausted. Let good emotions continue from the very cool point as you ended it previous time.
- Don’t hurry up events. It should take time to get to know any person. Holding just one or two hours of your date gives both of you some space.
- You should understand whether you want to continue this communication further within one or two hours.
- Give yourself plenty of things to talk about. Limit of time forces you to do something, intercommunicate and be involved in this date as much as you can, as the time is running out.
Building on the First Date and its Background
Avoid being bothering or obsessive. Never arouse online in messages or calls at least more than once a day. Live your usual life, so they can see you have what to do beyong dating. It is always attractive to chat with someone you know he is busy person. At the same time, be reachable for them, disappearing at all – it’s a bad idea.
- Don’t plan another date too quickly. You and your partner need some time to understand and evaluate feelings about each other. It is believed, that 1-7 days is good gap to wait, then you can call your partner and express your feelings about where to go next in the relationship.
Be honest. It is okay if after thorough reflecting about your date you realized that you are not ready to be in a committed relationship. Say it in a straightforward way, so that you do not give them unnecessary expectations. If you’re just not interested in a relationship with them anymore, tell them so. Explain that you just don’t see continuation of it. Don’t say that you want to be friends unless you actually want to be friends and spend time with this person in the future. If you are interested in seeing this person more often, honesty is still a crucial thing to a healthy relationship!
Show an emotional maturity. Inform your date about your real intention in the beginning of your date. If you don’t expect to continue the date with a relationships, say it. It can help your date to build proper behavior from the very beginning, and no one will be deceived. Care about honesty.
- Part of an emotional maturity is being patient about sex. Get closer to your partner, and then find an acceptable way to tell them your intention. Don’t press them, it can frays your date. And for sure it takes some time and several dates to become a possibility.
Don’t try too hard and allow spontaneity. It is good to be relaxed, and let some occasions interfere in your dates. If this communication goes somewhere you will remember for a while about your originality and at the same time simplicity. Sweets or unexpected actions give you some points.
Know what’s reasonable. There are a lot of unwritten rules in dating, which we are stick to intuitively. Look at the list of them for avoiding awkward and embarrassing situations:
- A kiss is a good idea, but try to ask (“Can I kiss you”.) If you don’t kiss the other person by the third date (you may forget it for example), they may start to ask questions about you. (“Do they like me?” “What’s their deal?” etc.)
- A man shouldn’t feel obligated to pay for everything. He can offer, like a gentleman would, to buy some drinks or tickets to a movie. But going Dutch on a semi-expensive dinner is totally acceptable. (Ladies, don’t assume he’s always going to pay.)
- No one should agree on sex after first three days. So don’t expect it, and you won’t be disappointed.
- Don’t be afraid to express your affection. Say “I really like you, you make me feel good” and you will see how it affect your date. Should it be mentioned that saying the other “I love you” is not probably not recommended during the first month or so of courtship, even if that’s the way you feel. Firstly, this is because your can overlook your feeling later. And the worst thing you could do is to give a false hope and suddenly reject him/her or disappear. Person can intimidate, that can build some new walls between you too. Lastly, don’t say it negligent, when you don’t really mean it exactly. It is a high time to beat around the bush. Saying this words and mean no truth might turn a person off.